With Eager Eyes

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Fri, 03 May 2013 16:19:34 -0400

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Fri, 03 May 2013 16:19:10 -0400

John Coltrane and Miles Davis , NYC, 1959. © Don Hunstein.

Wed, 20 Mar 2013 22:09:27 -0400

John Coltrane and Miles Davis , NYC, 1959. © Don Hunstein.

I recently reconnected with an old literature professor after...

Wed, 13 Mar 2013 19:19:12 -0400

I recently reconnected with an old literature professor after feeling a lingering lack in the creative department. All the Chinese Medical literature and yoga and Buddhist books has left me feeling perpetually stuck in the left-brain whereas I once dreamt, gathered, observed and wrote so much I had to buy a new moleskin every week.

Creativity is an expression of our souls (for lack of mushy word), our hearts. It’s why writers, musicians, and artists are so alluring - they reach deep down into that universe and bring up something raw and true, a part of themselves with every work they create. Without expressing creativity, we lack balance between knowledge and understanding.

My professor, Carole, sent a long and beautiful email back, breaking down the barriers between teacher and student, speaking to me like a companion, an old friend. She sent me a compilation of essays she wrote after taking a sabbatical last fall, taking the time to read through all of her journals from the last 20 years. After reading her essays, I picked up a tossed aside journal and for the first time in a long time, felt the words on the page were alive and pulsating.

One quote from her essay stood out to me the most, illuminating the existence of a bridge between all my Eastern philosophical and medical studies and role as a teacher and practitioner to my love for literature and writing:

“Reflective writing enables the discovery of who and what we are in practice and why we act as we do. This process can be uneasy, leading to the uncertainty of genuine questioning, the foundation of all education. Education is about perceiving our own questions, rather than being given answers. The search for solutions leads to yet more pertinent questions and more learning. Education comes from ‘educate’, meaning to lead out: facilitators support students to make their own significant enquiry.”

So with that, in attempt to continue walk across the bridge and travel down the roads of reason, I’m changing the concept of my blog to become more of an outlet of really connecting my love for images combined with inspiring quotes and creative writing. And I can’t encourage enough the importance of writing down our thoughts, taking them out of our heads and putting them right in front of us on a blank piece of paper, letting them breathe from the black hole of our minds. Maybe, just maybe, with each page filled up, we’ll be able to chisel away at the negative thoughts and allow the positive ones to shape into diamonds.

Thank you, Carole.

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Wed, 13 Mar 2013 19:11:56 -0400

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"I wonder how many people I’ve looked at all my life and never seen."

Mon, 11 Mar 2013 23:59:50 -0400

“I wonder how many people I’ve looked at all my life and never seen.”

- John Steinbeck

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Mon, 11 Mar 2013 23:53:16 -0400

nevver: Disappointed People Holding on to Guardrails

Mon, 11 Mar 2013 23:36:37 -0400

nevver:

Disappointed People Holding on to Guardrails

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Thu, 15 Nov 2012 10:41:40 -0500

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Thu, 15 Nov 2012 10:40:47 -0500

The Backseat Fighter

Wed, 14 Nov 2012 14:30:00 -0500

Last night, I was running late to a lecture after a looong day. I reluctantly hailed a cab, cursing myself for not leaving early enough to ride the subway. “Bowery and 1st, please.” The driver scowled and said something my deaf ears couldn’t hear, so I did my usual nod-and-smile routine as he took off. As he turned down 6th street, major construction took up the Bowery, causing a traffic jam all the way to China.

Yep, definitely going to be late. Very late. A ride that should have cost under five was about to shoot up to the double digits as he started turning all over the place, taking the scenic route to my destination. “WHERE are YOU GOING?” slipped from my lips before I could swallow the words down. He started throwing his hands wildly (yes, while driving..welcome to New York) and said in his thick Jamaican accent, “I told you there’s a traffic jam there, you crazy woman!”

By that point, I could feel the steam coming out of my ears. “If you KNEW there’s a traffic jam, you should have turned on first street.” Whoops, that hit a nerve. He turned the steering wheel sharply, whipping to the curb. “Don’t tell me where to go woman. I know what I’m doing, this is my cab…” He jammed his finger into the meter, which what just read $5.00 magically jumped to $7.00. I had bitch mouth diarrhea by that point. “SIR (aka asshole), the meter was JUST 5.50 and now it’s $7.00, this is fucking ridiculous.” Jesus, Moses, and Buddha Desirée…you’re goin’ crazy town.

As soon as those words left my mouth, I realized, yes, it was ridiculous. Here I was, fighting with this poor cabbie because I was too unorganized to be on time, creating unnecessary stress and taking it out on the first person I could. A knife was driving into my heart and I was the one holding the handle, thinking it was really him.

I opened my wallet and found Mr. Hamilton sitting there all by himself. As I handed over the ten dollar bill, I took a deep breath and said, “I’m sorry”, which felt harder to do than curing cancer.

Clad in heels, I began to run down The Bowery, past the construction, past the honking cabs, past the happy hour drunks. My thoughts raced just as fast: how many other situations have I pointed the finger at someone else, completely blind to the three fingers pointing back at me?

As much as we like to blame others for our problems, there’s enough war going on in the world that we don’t need to fight unnecessary battles. Learning to slow down, even if just for a fraction of a second, makes those moments where catching a glimmer of how things are really arising possible and gives us space to change our animalistic impulse reactions in situations. Maybe we’ll laugh at ourselves for how silly we’re acting instead of cursing the cab driver. Maybe we’ll give our boyfriend or girlfriend a hug instead of calling them an asshole or psycho bitch. Maybe we’ll have patience with our parents rather than hanging up on them when they give us advice for the umpteenth time. Maybe we’ll have patience with ourselves rather than beating ourselves up any chance we get. Maybe we’ll learn to slow down enough to see that we’re writing the story—not the other way around.

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Sun, 08 Jul 2012 23:28:22 -0400

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